Dating Colombian Girls

When I first came to South America as a 24-year-old backpacker one of the things I relished most was the idea of dating Latin women. To many Europeans and North Americans the stereotypical image of tanned, curvy Latin girls is irresistible.

In every South American country in which I travelled, from the tip of Patagonia to the northernmost reaches of the continent I met wonderful women. They were friendly, kind, sweet, generous, sincere and in many cases overwhelmingly beautiful. But of all the countries in South America Colombian girls are by far the most attractive and sexy.

Having lived in Colombia now for well over a decade I have a fair amount of experience dating Colombian girls. Most of my experiences have been very positive. But it has taken a while to hone my dating skills. There are some big cultural differences that exist between the typical European or North American woman and Colombian women.

The following is my impression of Colombian girls that I have formed during the last 7 years or so which includes numerous dates and also a couple of serious relationships.

Will I generalise? Of course I will. It takes all sorts, as they say. You can find pretty much any type of woman in Colombian just as you can in other parts of the world. But being aware of some of the trends and characteristics that apply to Colombian women and the dating scene in Colombia may prove invaluable if you’re looking for some Latin romance.

Characteristics of Colombian Girls

It is difficult to generalise when it comes to describing Colombian girls physically since Colombia is such a racially diverse country.

In the coastal regions, for example, the majority of the people are of black descent. The area around Medellin and also the coffee region, on the other hand, contain a large proportion of white people. In parts of central and southern Colombia many people come from an indigenous descent. The only physical characteristic which is common to the vast majority of Colombian women is that they are much shorter than women in North America or Europe. This is also true of Colombian men.

In some Colombian cities, most notably Medellin and Cali, it has become quite common to see women with silicon implants. This supposedly goes back to the days of the drug cartels, which had a strong presence in both Medellin and Cali. The tremendous wealth which was generated from the trafficking of drugs created a culture of elaborate spending. Pablo Escobar famously imported elephants and other exotic animals to his Hacienda Napoles resort. And many women got silicon implants. The elephants have long since gone, but the culture of silicon enhancements has remained.

One thing I can guarantee is that in pretty much any Colombian town or city you will see beautiful, sexy Colombian girls. In cities like Medellin and Cali it is almost too overwhelming sometimes (not necessarily because of the silicon on show!) I can’t count the number of times I’ve almost bumped into lampposts as a result of rubbernecking at some girl on the other side of the street in my adopted home city of Medellin.

But not only are Colombian women beautiful, they can also be incredibly flirtatious. They look at you, you look at them. Smiles are exchanged. And I have never experienced the “What you looking at?” mentality from any Colombian woman. Colombia is country which seems very comfortable with sexuality, despite some strong conservative traditions.

Dating Colombian Girls

Approaching and engaging Colombian girls is about ten times less daunting than in, for example, my home country of the UK. Depending on how you make your move you will very occasionally get the cold shoulder, but more often than not the girl will be happy to talk to you (particularly if you’re a foreigner) even if she’s not interested in anything more than friendship.

One slight problem with this is that many Colombian girls will also be happy to give you their phone number even if they are not in the least bit interested in seeing you again. Whereas European girls would tend to invent an imaginary boyfriend to deter your advances, Colombian girls much more likely to give you her number and then either dodge your calls, make excuses for not going out with you or worse still accept a date and then stand you up. It’s something I learned the hard way in my first year or so in Colombia.

Being able to communicate reasonably well in Spanish definitely helps when it comes to spotting if there is genuine interest there or not. As a rule of thumb I usually throw in the towel after two phone calls and two excuses, but it does of course depend on the situation, and the excuse.

If you hear either “Es que esta lloviendo / esta hacienda mucho frio” (“The thing is it’s raining / it’s very cold”) or “Es que tengo mucha pereza” (roughly translated as “I can’t really be bothered”) then alarm bells should start ringing!

Another favourite brush off is “De pronto salimos en estos dias” (Maybe we can go out sometime soon). In fact the phrase “en estos dias” (sometime soon) is about as non-committal as it gets.

At the same time, however, you have to realise that in Colombia the onus is on the man to call and to make arrangements. But if you make the effort and get fobbed off then it’s probably best to cut your losses.

So, you’ve met a girl and she’s agreed to go out with you. There are some general rules to which you should adhere to in order to increase your chances of making a good impression.

Colombia is still a very conservative country and many Colombian girls will expect you to collect them in your car or in a taxi on your way to a date (particularly the first few dates), and when going home. Sometimes there doesn’t seem much logic in taking a taxi halfway across town to pick the girl up when your destination is back in the opposite direction, but from experience it’s best to suck it up, at least to start with. You may well be about to spend a large amount of money treating her to dinner and drinks, but by asking her to get her own taxi and meet you there you can still come out looking stingy!

If the girl does agree to meet you there make sure you’re on time. While it’s often acceptable for the girl to arrive 20 minutes late, if you leave her waiting just five minutes there could be trouble.

There is a bit of an obsession, predominantly among the upper classes, with money and material wealth. It’s I’ve met various Colombian women from wealthy backgrounds who turn their noses up at the idea of dating a man if he doesn’t own a car. And a decent one at that.

To most Colombia women, however, being “detallista” (attentive to the details) i.e. opening cars doors for her etc is more important than wining and dining her in a fancy restaurant. Not that it hurts!

People in Colombia dress smartly when they go out. And hygiene is viewed with an even greater importance than it is in Europe and North America. Colombian girls take huge pride in their appearance and will often spend an hour or two getting ready.

If you’re a backpacker, try to dress up as much as possible and remember that in cities like Medellin and Cali where the climate is perfect for shorts and sandals, the locals seldom wear them, especially at night.

When it comes to paying the bill you should always offer to pay. There are actually many Colombian girls who insist on paying or at least making a contribution, but it’s always polite to offer. The concept that the man should pay the bill can be so taken for granted that you sometimes don’t even receive a simple “Gracias” as you leave. This is something that still annoys me, but as with many things it’s an aspect of traditional Colombian culture which it’s best just to try to accept.

On dates in other countries a kiss would be the minimum to expect on a first date. While it’s true that many Colombian women will accept a kiss on the first date, traditionally the unwritten rule seems to be at least the second if not the third date. Coming on too strong on the first date could blow your chances completely. Try to read her signals as best you can. Touching her hand and then judging her reaction can be a good way to test the water as it were.

All in all I find dating Colombian girls far less stressful than dating girls in Britain. There isn’t so much emphasis on impressing the girl with your career, studies or sophistication. Simply being a nice, gentlemanly guy can be enough for her to consider the date a success.

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